Me and my learnings in the decade of 2010-2019

Achievements and failures (rather setbacks), go hand in hand. The past decade (2010–2019) was when i grew up from being shy, under-confident, hesitant and challenged with self-doubt to an independent, ambitious, confident person- capable of taking a stand with a lot of self-love for myself.

But this transformation needed me to pay a price. The price was- depression, failures, heartbreaks, sadness, some bad decisions, extreme social-isolation and self-deprecation.

My most important learnings in the past decade were:

1. Understanding that I have to CHOOSE my battles. I have a limited amount of energy and I can either spend it in dealing with inconsequential and insignificant matters OR I can spend it to build something good for myself- a good life, a good career or simply a good ME.
   

2. Knowing that I am responsible for the kind of life I live. It is inane and unintelligent to blame or hold others responsible for whatever happens to me. As they say you might not control what life throws at you but you can always control your RESPONSE (not reaction) to it. Life isn’t supposed to be fair. However, I am. I stopped any kind of blame game and made myself totally accountable for my life.
   

3. Letting it go. The more I tried to control and be prepared for every aspect of my life, the more shambolic it became and the lesser equipped I found myself to deal with the chaos. Then I read somewhere that we try to control the uncontrollable and then wonder why we are all so defeated. I learnt that sometimes all you can do, is watch the sun set and the bird fly away. And that it is okay.
   

4. Addressing my mental health problems. Probably the best thing I did this decade. I used to be an anxious, depressed and an extremely touchy teenager with a clouded decision making power. It took me years to not only acknowledge that these traits need to be worked upon but also diligently worked on them and pulled myself out from that painful pit. Whatever number of years I have on this planet to live, I want myself to be stress-free and happy.
   

5. Building my career. I was never interested in programming and I am happy I took my stand for it even when 100 students out of 107 of our batch were learning it day in and day out. Peer pressure in Indian education system is massive but we must never forget where our individual interest lies. I always wanted to do something which makes me content and this was the basis of all my decisions- and ultimately led me to secure All India Rank 2 in UPSC-ESE 2019.
   

6. Becoming fit. From being underweight to overweight to now almost reaching my optimum weight (according to the BMI calculations), this has also been a long and a very important journey in itself. LASTLY:

7. In 2009 (‘Standard XI’) I started preparing for the JEE with the hope of getting into an IIT. 10 years later, in 2020, I delivered a guest lecture at IIT-BHU, Varanasi- my alma mater- from where I completed my graduation as well as post graduation- under the IDD course (Integrated Dual Degree course).